Monday Night at the Mallards
by Tweeter
Summary: Ducky ponders. This is a ONE SHOT, please read the author's notes. R&R, please and thank you.


_Disclaimer:_ You know the drill… I don't own these characters; I'm not making money from this; no copyright infringement is intended; This story is for entertainment purposes only... and so on, and so on.

**A/N:** This is a ONE SHOT. It was written quickly, while I should have been working, in the course of 3 or 4 hours. The style is slightly different, more descriptive narrative than dialogue. I hope you enjoy it. Many thanks to **Rinne** for helping me again. Any punctuation gaffes in the notes are proof positive that **Rinne** saves my stories from rampant commas, semi-colons and run-on sentences.

**Edited** to fix Gerald's last name (DOH!). Thank you **PrairieLily**!

**Monday Night at the Mallards**

Donald "Ducky" Mallard was a man of infinite patience - most of the time. He understood that most people found his propensity to ramble a bit off-putting, if not completely annoying, and he accepted that his eccentricity was an acquired taste. His last assistant was an excellent technician, one of the best. Gerald Jackson had tolerated Ducky's stories, more often than not tuning the elder ME out with his MP3 player. Ducky didn't resent him for this at all, quite happy to natter on to himself or the latest body.

When Gerald was shot, and had to go on medical leave, young Jimmy Palmer came on board as Ducky's assistant. Jimmy was fresh out of school and eager to learn. Ducky found himself becoming quite fond of the boy, with his wide-eyed, innocent view of the world. He knew that soon enough the young man would become jaded after witnessing many of the gruesome crimes they would investigate, and wanted to preserve that naiveté for as long as possible.

Upon learning that Jimmy was a devotee of wrestling, Ducky thought it would be nice to invite him for an evening of dinner and watching wrestling on the telly. Mother had already met Jimmy and had taken a shine to him. Perhaps his sweet nature had somehow penetrated through the fog in which she lived. Whatever the reason, Ducky was delighted to be able to invite company that Mother didn't threaten with a butcher knife or accuse of being an Italian gigolo..

Ducky had prepared a meal of individual Beef Wellingtons, fresh asparagus, and new red potatoes served with a fine Pomerol Bordeux. They capped off the meal with a cheesecake from a deli recommended by Anthony, and some hot coffee. The dinner was relaxed and pleasant, with Mother acting as hostess, fawning over her two boys. Ducky talked about his experiences in Malaysia, while Jimmy listened avidly, asking questions now and then, and Mother beaming proudly at her son. Jimmy told them about his childhood and his family, and how he came to be a medical examiner's assistant.

"Well, Mother," said Ducky loudly. "It's time for your wrestling program."

"Splendid!" Mrs. Mallard clapped her hands. Reaching toward Jimmy, she said, "Come child, let's go watch the wrestlers!"

"I should help clear the dishes first, Mrs. Mallard." Jimmy stood up.

Mrs. Mallard smiled at her son. "Isn't he a good boy, Donald? I'm so happy you've given me such a lovely grandchild. You've taught him such good manners, but then, you were always such a dear child yourself."

Shaking his head slightly at the surprised look Jimmy directed at him, Ducky replied, "Indeed, Mother, it's to your credit that this room is filled with gentlemen. Jimmy, my boy, you go on and settle mother in front of the telly. You needn't help with the dishes, I'll be quite all right."

"Yes, Dr. Mallard." Jimmy turned to Mrs. Mallard and offered her his arm. "Mrs. Mallard, may I escort you to the living room?"

Giggling like a schoolgirl, Mrs. Mallard accepted his arm and replied, "Why thank you, kind sir, but you should know that it's a 'parlor', not a 'living room'."

"Ahh, my mistake. Thank you, Mrs. Mallard."

Ducky smiled to himself as he watched the young man and his mother go to the parlor, Jimmy adjusting his pace to match Mrs. Mallard's unsteady gait.

After placing the dishes in the sink, to be washed later, Ducky joined the two in the parlor, settling himself into his favorite easy chair to read a book. It was a thick tome on the medical practices of the Ancient Egyptians and their connection to modern medicine. Even though the subject matter was of great interest, Ducky found his mind wandering, the sound of the television blending into the background.

When he was a young man, he never would have imagined ending up in a suburb of Washington DC, working for the US Navy. He was going to be an adventurer, a Doctor Livingston, traveling in the wilds of Africa, helping the natives, or island hopping in Asia Pacific. Eventually he'd settle down, marry and have children, and establish a family practice in a small hamlet in the English countryside.

He'd done the traveling, had the adventures, seen exotic lands, but he never did find the one woman who could tie his restless spirit down. Oh, there were many women in his life, some very special indeed, but none who could overpower his wanderlust. He didn't regret any of the decisions he made in his life. It had been a good, full life, one he expected to carry on for a good deal longer. He had friends all over the world, and if he felt the lack of a family of his own, well, he need look no further than his workplace to find it. Ducky loved his mother very much and was devoted to her, but he missed the days when they could have intellectual discussions or play chess for hours. The people he worked with provided him with the support and love that anyone would need.

They were a family at NCIS, perhaps a slightly dysfunctional family, but what family doesn't have their eccentricities. Young Anthony would describe the family as "wacky". Ducky chuckled to himself at the thought of the young man who was Gibbs' right hand. Anthony DiNozzo was a 'manchild', a grown man with a bit of a little boy inside him, jockeying for attention and approval.

"Kick him in the goolies!" Mrs. Mallard's frail voice interrupted his reverie.

"Goolies?" Jimmy looked at her questioningly.

"Yes, goolies." Mrs. Mallard grabbed Jimmy's crotch, eliciting a yelp of surprise from the young man.

"Mother!" admonished Ducky. "You behave yourself!"

Mrs. Mallard pouted. "I was just explaining to Jimmy what goolies are."

"Yes, well, you shouldn't be saying such things and you shouldn't be grabbing young men's private parts." Ducky looked at his mother sternly.

"It's okay, Dr. Mallard," Jimmy said. "I'm fine. She just took me by surprise."

"Be that as it may, Mr. Palmer, it was entirely inappropriate of Mother to do that and she will apologize immediately."

Mrs. Mallard looked teary-eyed and patted Jimmy on the arm. "I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please forgive me."

Jimmy took her hand gently. "You didn't hurt me, Mrs. Mallard. You just got a little overexcited. That Jon Cena can really make people get carried away."

Mrs. Mallard's expression brightened. "Indeed. He's a big bully. I enjoy seeing the bullies get their comeuppance." She turned back to the television, eyes riveted on the screen, still clutching Jimmy's hand.

Ducky smiled at Jimmy appreciatively, who smiled back. The young man had a calming way with his mother, it was a pleasure to have him there, though he did wonder if Jimmy found the elderly company interesting or fun. Ducky settled back in his chair, picking up his book to continue where he left off, but his thoughts turned to his family once more.

Ahhh, yes, Anthony. Anthony was always trying to get the approval of their fearless leader, Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He would do handstands in a field of broken glass if Gibbs asked him to. Ducky shook his head sadly at the childhood the young man must have experienced. What sort of parents couldn't appreciate the intelligent young man, full of life and love? He was a joy to be around, except when he was feeling especially insecure, and then he _could _be a bit annoying.

His father figure, Gibbs, was a stern taskmaster, difficult to please, but not an unreasonable man, for the most part. Jethro recognized the promise in the young man, and nurtured the seed of the exceptional agent within the cocky ex-cop. His patient tutelage, and occasional swats to the back of the head were paying off, and although Ducky knew that Jethro was not one to openly praise someone, he knew that the senior agent was extremely proud of his protégé.

Turning a page in his book, Ducky tried to concentrate on the written words, but the visage of a sweet young woman with jet-black pigtails, black lipstick, luminous eyes and strange attire floated before him. Dear sweet Abigail. Such a zest for life; when she came to visit him in Autopsy she was like a ray of sunshine in the cold, sterile room. He loved to visit her in her lab, with the loud music and the eclectic artwork. She was like a daughter to Gibbs, and he afforded her special treatment. Her unusual attire and make-up masked the highly intelligent, sensitive woman within. She had a razor sharp mind, and wit to match. She and Anthony had a close brother/sister bond, with each being very protective of the other. Abigail had been very close to Caitlin, and was devastated by the older woman's death.

Ducky sighed as he thought of the murdered agent. Caitlin Todd had only been with the team for two years before she was taken from them, by that monster, Ari Haswari. She also had a brother/sister relationship with Anthony, but it was more along the lines of a rivalry. They were both very competitive people, and that trait would sometimes come out in inappropriate ways. More than once Gibbs had had to stop the squabbling. Still, both Caitlin and Anthony could be counted on to cover each other when needed. Ducky missed Caitlin's presence in their lives.

"You minky basturt!"

Jimmy looked over at Ducky with questioning eyes.

Ducky sighed, "Mother has just cast aspersions on the heritage and hygiene of the referee. A very unlady-like thing to do, I might add."

"Pish," sniffed Mrs. Mallard. " I've been a lady all my life, I'm old enough to be allowed to express my opinions in any manner I choose."

"I think we can allow Mrs. Mallard some leeway," said Jimmy, "in deference to her life experiences."

Ducky laughed to himself, remembering the time that Abby called Jimmy a brown-noser during the case with the stolen body parts. They thought he didn't notice, but there wasn't much that didn't escape the eye of the alert ME. Abby wasn't far off, although he did think that Jimmy was sincere in his admiration. He was slightly in awe of everyone on the team, and a bit fearful of Special Agent Gibbs.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs reveled in his reputation as a hardnosed ex-Marine, keeping his posture ramrod straight, voice curt and manner abrupt. He delighted in turning probationary agents into quivering masses of gelatin. When you worked with Gibbs, you did things his way or you were out the door. Anthony was the first agent Ducky could remember that could make Gibbs smile, and even laugh. In Ducky's opinion, Gibbs was a different man, a bit more relaxed with a tendency to joke, due to his current team.

Timothy McGee had started out as one of those stammering, nervous probies that Gibbs could silence with a glare. While Anthony still called him Probie, it was more of an affectionate nickname now, as Timothy has started to gain confidence and skill as an investigator. Gibbs was even giving him more guidance, taking him under his wing, as Timothy progressed. Perhaps Timothy would someday be Anthony's trusted second, when Anthony ascended to the position of Senior Agent, upon Gibbs' retirement. Ducky was certain that's what Jethro was grooming young Anthony for, and Anthony would prove a worthy successor to the ex-Marine. Perhaps Timothy was destined to become Director someday, after serving as a field agent on the best team in the Agency. Anthony would still call him Probie.

Timothy and Abigail had been involved at one point, and might still be, for all Ducky knew. But Timothy may have eyes for their newest member, Officer Ziva David. Ziva blew in like a breath of fresh air when the team was still wallowing in the depths of depression and guilt after the death of Caitlin. She developed an instant rapport with everyone, except Abigail. Anthony found he couldn't shock her the way he could shock Caitlin, and soon discovered that the brash young woman could shock him. Their rivalry was similar to the one that Anthony had with Caitlin, yet different. Ducky wasn't sure how to define the difference, just that it didn't turn rancorous quite as much. Ziva respected Anthony's investigative abilities, and he respected her experience and unique capabilities. The three young people formed an excellent investigative team, one that Gibbs was extremely proud of.

Ducky sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Mother was starting to show signs of fatigue, it was time to put her to bed and free Jimmy. He stood and stretched his tired muscles.

"Ready to call it a night, Dr. Mallard," asked Jimmy.

"I'm afraid these old bones can't stay up as late as they used to, Mr. Palmer, and you've been far too generous with your time, keeping two old people company."

"It's been a pleasure, doctor, I believe Mrs. Mallard needs to get to bed as well." Jimmy smiled as he stood, gently disengaging the hand of the dozing elderly woman from his.

Accompanying the young man to the door, Ducky put his hand on Jimmy's shoulder. "Thank you, Mr. Palmer. It's been a pleasure having you. I hope we can do it again. Perhaps you can bring someone closer to your age to help keep you amused."

"Thank you for having me. The meal was delicious and I really did enjoy myself."

Laughing, Ducky patted his back. "You do need younger friends, my boy."

"Goodnight, Dr. Mallard."

"Goodnight, my boy. Drive safely, I'll see you in the morning."

Ducky closed the door gently, and headed back to the parlor.

"Come, Mother. Let's get you to bed, now."

**The End** - no sequels planned


End file.
